The Aggie Ring: A Tradition, An Accomplishment, A Cultural Artifact

    The origin of the Aggie Ring at Texas A&M University began as early as 1889, 13 years after the University began operating as Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas in 1876. Since then, the Ring program has standardized the ring design and implemented specific guidelines for earning a ring based on hours of coursework successfully completed at the university. In 1933, a petition was brought to the faculty of the university by officers from the Class of '31 requesting restrictions to be placed on the purchase of an Aggie Ring. At that time, the request was for a student to be enrolled in the second semester of their junior year to qualify for purchase.

    

    Before women were allowed to attend the University, men could buy a "sweetheart ring" for their significant other to show that they, too, were a part of the Aggie family.

    

    Today, the requirement for an undergraduate to order their ring is a total of 90 completed credit hours, with 45 of the 90 hours completed on campus at Texas A&M. Additionally, the student must have a cumulative GPR of 2.0 or higher and be in good academic standing with the university. Presently, A&M averages around 15,000 students per year who complete the requirements and order their rings. Texas A&M University has the highest percentage of students who purchase school ring with 94% of qualified students purchasing their ring each year.

    The Association of Former Students, who operates the school's ring program, believes that is the strict requirements that must be completed in order to purchase a ring contribute to the overall success of the program. Over the past 20 years other schools who have wanted to increase the success of their ring programs have shifted their model to reflect that of A&M's, specifically with a single ring design, tight criteria, and a specific delivery date. Each part of the ring design carries special significance, which I believe sets it apart from other rings. It is a badge of honor and encompasses many of the core values of an Aggie, a physical representation of what is already part of the beliefs that Aggies have. Loyalty to the State of Texas, the United States of America, and the traditions of the university are all represented by each symbol on the ring.

    Personally, the Aggie Ring is incredibly significant to me and has influenced how and when I decided to come back to Texas A&M University to complete my degree. I was accepted to Texas A&M University as a freshman in 2005. I studied, worked, joined a sorority, and participated in campus life in College Station from Fall of 2005 until Fall of 2008. Due to significant family crisis and declining mental health as a result of that crisis, I left Texas A&M in December of 2008. What I did not know at the time is that I had completed 87 hours, only 3 hour short from earning my ring. I transferred for a short period of time to UTA and completed a few semesters there, but did not earn a degree. While there were many reasons for dropping out of college, one of them was that I did not want to earn my degree from another university. I have a special attachment to Texas A&M University, the culture of traditions, and the Aggie Ring. While I was a student from 2005-2008, I had several friends who earned their rings. I was able to participate in their celebrations and looked forward to when it would be my turn. 

     In November of 2023, I was attending a football game with my family, specifically my cousin and her husband, who have a huge Aggie family and many connections at the university. The game was early, so we enjoyed the game and tailgated afterwards getting the opportunity to network with other Aggies. One of the folks who stopped by the tailgate was Former Yell Leader Dave Lawhorne, Class of '86. It is interesting how in our life experiences, specific moments and specific conversations get crystallized in a way that we know we have marked a moment that has changed the trajectory of our life. For me, that day standing around visiting with the other Aggies at the tailgate, Dave said something that relit a fire inside me. We talked about the football team and some fun things that had happened during the game. There was a football tradition that had been dormant for almost 20 years and was brought back during the game that day. Those of us who are "Old Army" Aggies were enthusiastic about how much fun this tradition was and glad to see it again after so long. I shared my thoughts on the game and tradition and Dave responded to me, "We need you and your kind of thinking here at A&M." That sentence blew the doors open for me.

    Upon returning home my husband, who is not an Aggie, looked at me and asked me, "How do we get you your Aggie ring?" He had been with me, listening to the stories and seeing how each Aggie wore their rings proudly. About three weeks later, I applied to be readmitted to Texas A&M University to complete my English degree. After enrolling for Spring classes, my advisor informed me that I was already qualified to order my Aggie ring. I was able to order my ring on January 25, 2024 and will get my ring during Ring Week in April!

    In the song The Spirit of Aggieland that is sung here at A&M there is a phrase that says, "There's a Spirit can ne'er be told, it's the Spirit of Aggieland..." There is truly a spirit among Aggies, that really cannot be explained. The Aggie Ring is the symbol of that spirit. No matter where you go, you will find Aggies and upon recognizing the ring on each others finger will immediately be united in spirit because of the traditions and accomplishment that are shared and the artifact we bear on our finger as proof.

Sources: Texas Aggie Magazine, bibliography below

                Personal photos

                Photos taken at The Association of Former Students

Bibliography:

    Owen ’94, Sue . “The Aggie Ring: Why Is It the Country’s Top Ring Program?” Texas Aggie, vol. 104, no. 2, 6 Mar. 2024, pp. 34–43, www.aggienetwork.com/news/160690/read-the-latest-texas-aggie-issue/.

Ordinary Sacred

What if the simple, ordinary things are actually Holy things after all? What if we have confused the mundane with the sacred? A heart song rose to my lips today as I rejoiced in some beautiful, simple moments and it has been my constant prayer this past year.

"In the crushing

In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil
I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

So I yield to You into Your careful hand
When I trust You I don't need to understand

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me"

(New Wine by Hillsong)

The weight of grief is often unbearable. Each and every occasion the first year a sharp reminder that your loved one is, really, no longer on this Earth. In grief, I can get lost in the past. In the present, I can find a bridge to the work that is happening right here and now. Everyone's grief is so personal. For me, my kids have been a sweet balm rather than difficulty in this process. I know what it is to grieve alone. They are welcome here with me. I hope we endure many of these hard obstacles together. They help me remember what is important and the grief offers such immense perspective.

Today was so full of love, oh my stars. I slept in, was served breakfast in bed with coffee and the presentation of a ballad about Valentine's Day. There were adorable kids of whom I am particularly fond of dressed up in their best festive outfits. My Turner told me, "I love you, Mom" for the first time. We baked cookies and banana bread. There was recipe creating, a lot of coloring, frozen fingers, and kids playing in the snow. I did not play in the snow. I stayed in my pajamas thank you very much. 

Making Cowboy cookies

Turner playing with Magnatiles and Picasso tiles for hours and hours

New plant baby from my baby daddy

The goof is real.

Turner's Birth Story

I've had 3 births and never written a birth story. Maybe I will go back and write about my other births someday. Turner Matthew Judah Eytcheson came into the world on December 4, 2018 at 11:13 p.m. He weighed 10lbs 11oz and was 22.25 inches long surprising everyone from the delivery room to our extended family and setting my OB's personal record as the biggest baby he's delivered. Since my previous two births were cesareans my intentions for this birth were to have a successful, preferably unmedicated, VBAC (that's "vaginal birth after cesarean" for those that aren't familiar). My doctor agreed for me to TOLAC (trail of labor after cesarean) except he was not willing to use any type of induction methods to start or encourage labor. At my 37 week appointment and the baby measured big via sonogram. His head circumference was very big and his weight was estimated at 8lbs 4oz. I originally reacted with fear and a little despair upon hearing that the baby was so big I then began to pray - alot - after that appointment. At my 39 week appointment, I was found to be dilated 2 cm which was fantastic news! I was officially due on Sunday 12/2. Thursday prior to being due, I had a day date with my bonus mom for foot massages and lunch and I began having contractions (far apart) while I sat and watched our oldest play soccer that evening. Saturday my MIL arrived from out of town in anticipation for baby to arrive in the near future. Sunday - due date! - I started having consistent contractions from the time I walked into church (around 9am) and throughout the day. After a full day and night of contractions every 7-10 mins that were increasing in intensity, I asked to be taken to the hospital to be checked knowing they would likely send me home. They kept me/monitored me for 2 hours (usually they only keep you 1 hour), and then they sent me home. I don't remember a lot that happened after that. I know I tried to sleep and got a couple naps in that day to try to make up for not sleeping the night before. This labor was already reminding me of my labor with Kailyn, so I knew I needed the sleep and that my baby was coming - no matter how slowly - and I needed rest. I had other labor signs like passing my mucus plug and having bloody show after contractions. I remember praying a lot, listening to a lot of worship music, spending a lot of time bouncing on my ball. Night fell again and I tried so hard to sleep. I got about an hour of sleep and then my contractions woke me up. I was timing them and trying to sleep in between. The sleep between part was not really happening. My husband was snoring, loudly, next to me. I remember being resentful and irritated. Around midnight I cried - not from pain - from emotions. I remember thinking, "I want off this ride." I was even up for more intensity, and even pain if it meant that things would change. I wanted and needed progress. 1:08 AM my water broke - it felt exactly like I had read/heard it described. I felt pressure and then a POP! that at first kind of felt like a baby kick, but different. I said, "What was that?" out loud and then a big *gush* confirmed that my water broke. Yes! The ride finally changed. I woke up Matt and we grabbed our stuff. We got to the hospital around 2am - both very thankful that my MIL was already in town and sleeping in our home so we briefly woke her, let her know what was going on, and headed out the door without waking the rest of the kids. We had almost the exact opposite experience in triage than we had just had the night before - which was a huge relief. When I told the charge nurse who check us in my plans to VBAC this baby she set the tone for my experience and said she was rooting for me and believed I could do this. We stayed in triage a bit longer than usual due to the L&D ward being very busy that night - the bed in triage was not comfortable, but there was a peace that had not been there before. We were moved to a L&D room around 5am. My OB, Dr. Jason Brown, came on shift at 7am and said hello - actually, he walked into my room before 7am with his backpack on because as soon as he had walked in and saw my name on the board he came straight to see me. I really cannot say enough good things about him as a doctor and a person. There are a lot of details between that point when Turner was born 18+ hours later. The overarching and most important part of the whole experience was the peace that I felt and the peace that was present in my room that day and night. Since there weren't many medical options open to me as far as the use of pitocin, etc. I was really left to my own devices. We played music. Matt and I danced. We talked a lot, spent time together that we hadn't in a long time. Fully soaked in all the excitement of our baby, our last baby, coming into the world. My grandparents and bonus mom visited for a bit while I sat on a birthing ball and chatted through contractions. My body seemed to be doing it's job at first. I was 3 cm dilated when I checked in and around noon I was 6cm dilated. Slow progress, but things were moving. Then we stalled - each check my cervix remained the same. After a couple checks and nothing I started to get serious. No more visitors. I put my phone on airplane mode, no more calls, no more texts. Time to focus. I changed up the music. I started moving a lot. I paced the halls. I did lots of squats. I did step ups on the couch in my room (shhh!). I used a hand operated breast pump for nipple stimulation. I pumped enough colostrom before my baby was ever born to impress everyone in the nursery/NICU department. More ball bouncing. My legs were starting to cramp. Nothing was happening and decision time was coming. My doctor came to visit around 6p. I was checked - no progress. We had a heart to heart about how I saw this proceeding and what my options were as time went on. Together we decided that if I had no cervical change and no signs of progress by 9pm we would start to prepare for a cesarean. After the doctor left, I crawled into the bed, asked Matt to come crawl in with me and I cried and I let it sink in that I might not get my desire for a VBAC and I confessed that it's really hard to want something so badly and have very little control, ultimately, of getting it. Shift change for the nurses came. While I was really sad to see my nurse from that day leave, I personally knew the next nurse coming on shift and she brought an element of excitement right when I needed it. Holly came in and told me how proud she was of my effort that day. She was fully updated on every thing I had done to try to get my labor to progress throughout the day and she assured me I had done everything possible and I hadn't given up. She said no matter what happened I could be sure that I gave it my all. Then she took charge and everything moved fairly fast. She asked if I would be willing to try an epidural as a means to possibly dilate me more. After 6+ hours or no progress, I was up for just about anything. The epidural failed and in the end, we proceeded to the OR a little after 10pm. I was given a spinal in the OR along with several warm blankets to help me stop shaking. Matt was back at my side fairly quickly. My doctor came in and turned on his music for surgery. I had made no requests, yet praise and worship, all of my favorites that I have been singing and praying over my pregnancy and especially during my labor filled the room. The peace I had through the day filtered in, and in a matter of minutes my baby boy was born. As I was skillfully put back together, I sang worship to my King. You see, over the weeks before Turner was born, the Lord changed my prayers and he changed my heart. My prayers at 37 weeks started by praying for what I wanted and very quickly changed to praying for the Lord's will. In the final days, I released everything I wanted to the Lord. I prayed for his will. I prayed for his glory. I submitted that even if I didn't get what I "wanted" he would still get all the glory, all the praise. Because he is faithful, he fulfills our desires, he is protector, he is healer, and he walked with me through those hours and days of labor and surgery and everything afterwards. Among the birth community I see the message that after a trauma or disappointing birth there is a need for a healing birth and it is often, if not always, equated with some magical, natural birth experience. It is often communicated as fighting for what you want, trusting in your body to do its job, and making your birth experience happen. I heard the message somewhere, that to heal from the trauma of my previous birth, and the disappointment of a repeat cesarean with twins I needed this healing experience, and they were right - kind of. There was just one important piece missing. What I needed and what I had was The Healer, my Lord and Savior, Papa God, to walk with me through this birth - and he did. What I experienced was peace and joy and faithfulness. What I experienced was healing at a soul level that I get to carry with me forever.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

The Gospel and my Dad

On Saturday, February 22, 2020 we celebrated the life of my dad, Cam Fearis. He passed away on February 13, 2020 after a major heart attack the week prior. The celebration was both unique and nearly perfect. The turn out was quite spectacular. Some fun and incredible stories were shared. I laughed more than I cried. The main theme was consistent regardless of no prior coordination from each speaker and it was this: Dad impacted the world the way he did because he followed the example of Jesus Christ. I had only a small part in the ceremony and this copy is only the notes I prepared I added some in the moment.

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I just wanted to take a quick moment to tell each of these men who have spoken before me how much I love you. Having an incredible Dad has meant doing life and growing up around other incredible men. It can also be said that each of these men are characterized by their great love for Jesus. I am so thankful for each of you.

Dad was known for becoming emotional when he prayed - time after time he would clear his throat and pause during the family prayer. Don’t worry we teased him about it -- but what grace it has been to have a Dad who loves Jesus so much that he is brought to tears by the love of his Savior.

My dad held my hand and led me to salvation at 4 years old - in the driveway of our house after Wednesday night AWANAs - I asked him to pray with me. 29 years later I know and remember the deep longing in my soul to belong to Jesus. Dad continued to lead me to Christ throughout my life, through hard times and losing my mom to brain cancer, to hard times where I was so angry and hard hearted it looked like I might lose my way, and all the way through all the pain to forgiveness and redemption and healed relationship and deep love.

Loving Jesus comes with certainty that you cannot find anywhere else - my dad had it. Here is what Romans 8:28-32 says: “and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing (justification, we get credit for Jesus’ good record) with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory. What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for all, won’t he also give us everything else?”

When we start to understand how much God loves us -- How do we know God loves us? He sent his one and only Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. When we start to understand how much God loves us and we couple that alongside Who God is -- who is God? The Bible says he is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. God existed before the earth was formed and he will exist after this earth is gone -- he has the ultimate BIG picture. He sees all things, past, present, and future. So when we couple how much God loves us alongside who God is and slowly and even painfully we grow to try to really trust Him and His plan on our lives. And friends, I’m not going to stand here and lie to you and tell you that it is easy. I’m not.

But that is not all let us read about the promise. It says just a few verses above in Romans 8, v.18-23: “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. BUT with eager hope the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.”

As believers in Jesus we have freedom from death and decay - now! Death has no victory because we have eternal life. What hope! That is our eager hope in the face of real pain and heartache. You don’t get unity, and humility, and oneness in this kind of tragedy without Jesus and that is exactly what I have experienced with my family. It is a strange place to be when you can fully see and feel the presence of the Lord walking beside you and at the same time be given a no to one of the biggest prayers of your life.

We don’t get all the answers here on Earth. What we do get if we want him is Jesus. The Bible says he is the great High Priest who goes to the Father on our behalf. He understands all of our fears, feelings, insecurities, emotions because he walked this earth with skin on just like you and me. Fully God and Fully Man and Hebrews 4:14-16 says, “So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

I finish with this -- make no mistake about your place in this room today. It is no accident that you are here today. I believe that the Lord had already picked out your seat in this room. He is calling you, by name. He knows your name and he knows how many hairs are on your head he knows everything you have ever done and everything you are going to do and he loves you. The Creator of the Universe loves you. Today you are either being called to either know Jesus as your friend and savior or you are being called to know him more. You are being called to either cry out for salvation, or set aside very thing that is keeping you from being all in with Jesus.

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If you are scrolling this page and reading these words then you too are being called by the Father. You didn't stumble here by mistake you are here for a purpose. The God of the Universe in his generosity he has made a way for you to know him to his depths. Reach out. You are loved.

Whirlwind

Whirlwind this phase is. Loud, cries, whines, questions and some more questions, milestones, fast. When, where, why?
Bringing two people in to the world is - challenging. Turns out the bringing wasn't really the hard part, the doing is harder. And then it's not them, but the adjusting, the stretching, the compromising, the sharing. That's alot of change when you're 4. From being the one and only to being one of 3. Some days she wants to get rid of them. That makes me sad. Some days, I can't blame her - the well meaning good hearted, genuinely nice people whose eyes light up when they see them, twins, they're like unicorns or something - they look right through her. Like she doesn't exist or like she's a 3rd wheel. Not all. But many, so many that it hurts her. She is my first wheel. The foundation of my motherhood. So important to me. This is the hard part for me. She is fierce, and stong, and independent, but she still needs me - usually right at the exact same time that I am up to my elbows in something else. Dinner, baths, nursing, laundry, dishes, diapers. When she gets desperate for attention, she acts out. She acts flat out crazy, a disobedient lunatic. And i get angry. How can someone so small dredge up so much red hot fire in me in an instant? That's not what she needed. Sharp words, furrowed brows, mean tones, less than nice words, yelling. I can't get out of my own way. Guilt. It piles and piles on. I pray. Alot. Until bed and pajamas, and more diapers, and more nursing, and sometimes hugs and sometimes go to bed now I have had enough. On good nights there are kisses and hugs and books and I love yous and prayers, even many bad days turn to good nights with I'm sorrys and I forgive yous. I pray some more. They all go to sleep and it is so quiet. Quiet enough to hear my thoughts. Quiet enough to write. Quiet enough for the guilt. Thinking, thinking, thinking about what I should have done different, done better. My husband is here somewhere. Oh there he is. My love. We zone out on the couch content to be near each other. I write, he snores. In the reflection I work hard to find the moments, the joys, the worth it. It's there. Everyday. I try hard to hang on tightly to those moments. I find myself flung into them suddenly smiling, laughing, giggling only to be pulled violently away by an unhappy outburst, a fall with tears, a potty break.
Today, little B took her first steps. Clapping, cheering, and a huge proud grin from the timid walker. Worth all the tears and the battles of wills and do's and don'ts. Priceless. Daddy was there. Big B was there. Little C's endless smile keeps me going many days, she's mischievous already, I see it in her eyes. She takes great joy from small things and dances each time she hears music. Joy. The big girl, she put a big bow on top of her head and gave me lipstick kisses this afternoon, even after I raised my voice at her too many times. She knows and gives grace. Today, I caught her in my rearview mirror enjoying the warm sun on her face as we listened to the radio. Many days she stops in the midst of what she is doing and says Mommy, I love you. I never want to forget the way she looks and sounds when she says that. She's so stunning. As the day slows and I can barely keep my eyes open anymore I get ready to crawl into bed. Wondering what my "second shift" might hold tonight. Will I be up once, twice, or six times? I think our record is around 8. I don't count, I also don't look at the time. It helps me keep my sanity. I drink a lot of coffee and pray.

A reflection with a piece of my heart

I haven't had much of an inspiration to write lately.  No pressing or new subjects on my mind.  There are plenty of crazy things going on in this world I COULD write about - but none that the Lord has led me to write about.  So today will be more of a personal post.  I was originally thinking about putting it on Facebook, but decided it might be a bit lengthy.

I've been thinking a lot today about my Momma.  My friend Maca and her little girl Ellie came up to visit us today and as we talked we talked quite a bit about my mom and some of the details of her life - specifically the end.  Anytime I do talk about her and especially her death I always find it refreshing and healing to read from her journal about her LIFE.  So I wanted to post another snippet from her journal.  This post has a section where she wrote specifically to me - I can almost hear her voice when I read it. Oh how I miss her.  My soul sometimes still aches with the empty spot that she left.  Only the Lord can soothe and fill that spot today, but I also rest in the faith and knowledge that I will see her again someday! How sweet a reunion it will be. It almost brings tears to my eyes to imagine that day. My heart can hardly bear it.  It makes me want to say - as so many times my Mom did - Jesus come and take me today!!  I hope and pray that I can be as heavenly minded as she was, forever waiting and watching for the day that my Savior will come and take me home.

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9/6/99

Today is Labor Day, a nice break after a couple of weeks of school.  Garr and Galen are on the sofa bed watching TV, and Cami spend the night at Jennifer's house.  I bought this journal several days ago, but I just have been unsure how to start.  I want you to have something of me (or mine) to help you understand a little more of how much I love you and how much the Lord Jesus means to me.  Sometimes I am so focused on the task of being a mom and wife that I don't take the extra effort to share my heart with you.  When I have quiet moments, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have all of you.

Cami, I really enjoyed laying on the bed and talking with you on Saturday night.  It was fun to share memories with you of when you and the boys were babies.  My, how the time has flown!  I had had a hard day, and you were concerned about me.  You wanted to know if I needed to talk about anything.  That meant so much to me.  May the Savior keep you tender and near to His own heart as you grow older.

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I think, over the years, as I have re-read this first post it is so interesting to me the timing of her writing.  As many of my readers know, my mom died after battling a malignant brain tumor for 4 years.  That's the short version at least.  The best part to me is that the date this journal was started precedes her diagnoses with brain cancer by a year and 5 months.  I just love that she didn't start to journal when she knew she was going to die, she was compelled to journal when she was ALIVE with no thought of an early death.  Her words would be sweet regardless of the reason, but they are potent with the knowledge that she wrote these things genuinely for the reasons she stated above.  I also feel confident that the Lord compelled her to write.  He knew the trials that were going to come our way and He knew how much this journal would mean to me and to the rest of my family.  Just another example for me of what my simple obedience can do for others.  The SMALL THINGS he asks me to do can become BIG THINGS to others - all I have to do is obey! 

There may not be Strawberry Pop-Tarts in Heaven - but a little more LOVE on Earth wouldn't hurt. =)

When I first decided to create myself a blog I knew that I had a post and an idea that I wanted to write about at that moment.  Then I wondered, will I keep having inspiration past my first post?  So far the answer has been - yes!  Each time I write, I soon become inspired or burdened by a new subject and it begins to build in my mind as something I should write about.  What I don't have a lot of is time to sit down and write my thoughts out.  This post in particular I have mulled over much longer than the first two.  Partially because I think my opinion on the matter isn't the most popular.  I also want to make sure if I make a claim on what Christians should or shouldn't do that I'm backing it up or have made sure that it is in line with what the Bible says.

JUDGING OTHERS

I personally believe that the judging of others - specifically the judging of other Christians is one of the biggest hindrances to the witness of the Christian faith in American culture today.   

That's a big, bold statement.  I believe it though.  I believe that more people would go to church and pursue a relationship with the Lord if they weren't too afraid or skeptical of what "other Christians" would think about their lifestyle.  I think that more unbelievers would potentially go to church just to see what it is all about if Christians didn't have such a bad reputation for judging others.

I believe, very passionately, in the grace of Jesus Christ.  Meaning, that I believe that Jesus came to save us, not to condemn us.  As I have been thinking and praying about this post, the Lord has shown me some really great verses that directly apply to my topic.  The first one, I posted on my Facebook a few days ago.  In John 14:18, Jesus is quoted saying, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."  I will come to you.  Just let that sink in for a minute.  Jesus didn't say, fix everything, make yourself perfect, and then come find me.  He didn't say, here's a list of things you have to do everyday plus some bonus stuff for Sunday and then come find me, I'll be over here somewhere.  Jesus says to us - sit still, right where you are and I will come to you.  We don't even have to meet him halfway!! We just have to take one single solitary step and that is to say Jesus I need you.  Now, if Jesus is willing to meet us where we are, then why should other Christians expect us to be something different?  Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus and in the same way that a relationship grows and changes in our human to human relationships so does our relationship with Jesus.

So here's another bold statement for the day -- I'm feeling a little feisty if you can't tell.  The status of our relationship with Jesus is between us and Him.  That's it.  It is completely a product of the condition of our heart.  If you personally believe that you are being honest with yourself and with the Lord and you are walking with him the very best you can in that moment of your life - NO ONE ELSE can tell you that you are wrong. Whoo, I'm going to fire some people up I can tell!!

Right about now a lot of people are going to want to jump up and down and start talking about accountability among Christians.  Which I agree with and believe in.  But for a moment - I would like to not jump in to accountability and continue down this path.

According to the Bible in 1 Corinthians 4:5 Paul writes to the church in Corinth and says, "Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God."  Which is a perfect verse for what I am talking about -- only the Lord has the capability and the authority to "disclose the purposes of our heart."  We are not to judge the other Christians around us because God is going to do it. Our time on earth is so short compared to eternity and we are called to love and reach others for Christ - not to judge.

So now to bring it down to a personal level...
I put my faith in Jesus as a little, small girl.  I was 4 years old.  My church had a Wednesday night program called AWANAs and I was a "Cubby".  I clearly remember putting my faith in Jesus.  I remember being in the driveway in the truck with my Dad.  I remember that I was the only kid (in my family) who had gone to church that night due to illness or something related and my mom had stayed home with my brothers.  I remember telling my dad that I wanted to invite Jesus into my heart.  I was 4, that was 21 years ago, and I still remember it like yesterday.  I remember knowing at 4 years old that my life would somehow be different because of the decision that I made.

As I got older and started to make more of my own decisions - into high school and beyond - I didn't always do what I should as a Christian.  I didn't always make the right choices. I rarely sought godly counsel about the choices I was making. I more often hid the things I was doing from every one around me - especially my parents.  At a fairly young age, I started making decisions that lead me to having pre-marital sex.  This started in high school, continued through college, and up to the point that I married my husband Matt.  So let's say about 8 years.  There were many times that I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew that it didn't please God, but I didn't know how to stop.  There were also times that I didn't care what God thought about what I did or didn't do.  Pre-marital sex had become a lifestyle for me.  A way of life - specifically the only way I knew how to be in a relationship.  Pre-16 year old relationships were the only ones I had ever had that were sex free.  So let's pause for a moment -- what I was doing was wrong, really wrong.  Fornication is listed as a sin in the Bible.  Sexual sins are especially bad sins to the Lord because he created sex to be something more than a physical experience.  He created it for me to share with my future husband, not with any guy that I chose.  I was ruining that for myself and for the men that I allowed and many times pursued to have sex with me.  At any point during that part of my life I would have told you that I knew what I was doing was wrong in the eyes of the Lord and there was a small - sometimes even a big part of me - that wanted to quit.  I even tried to quit.  However, at no point during that part of my life did I EVER doubt my salvation.  I never doubted God loved me in spite of the bad things that I was doing and he still spoke to me.  We still had a relationship, but we didn't have the kind of relationship that we COULD have because my sin got in the way of our closeness.  However, I was doing the best that I could at that time in my life.

Now, did my accountability as a Christian ever go away?  No and I will have to stand before the Lord some day look into his face and be accountable for those decisions and actions.  Were my choices wrong? Yes. Last, is it okay to run around as a Christian and do whatever you feel like doing because you believe in "grace" and that you're going to be forgiven for it all? No, not at all. At the same time, would someone pointing their finger at me and telling me that I was a "bad" Christian or that I needed to get right with the Lord have helped me at that time? Probably not, I was in a pretty dark place. Even further, the Lord never abandoned me, he never left me, and I never did enough bad things to no longer be a Christian anymore - and I did some pretty bad things.

So it really all boils down to love...

As Christians we are called to LOVE - both other Christians and non-Christians.  Matthew 22:37-39 is quoted a lot in the church, but I really don't feel like we as Christians GET it.  I think that if we did, our world would be a much different place.  The verse says, "And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" 

The answer to everything is love.  How boring, huh? It's the simplest of answers with the hardest follow through.  If someone is doing wrong as a fellow Christian we are called to love them and in that love to show them that they are called to a higher purpose.  If they fail to change their heart, their attitude, or their actions what should we then do?  We should love them.  Ultimately - and I'm pretty passionate about this too - the only person who can be convicted about my sins and compelled to change is me.  My husband can't be convicted about my sins for me and I can't be convicted about his.  We've had several discussions about this and it leads into a longer discussion related to marriage, but I will try to keep it as brief and to the point as possible.  I am not perfect because the Lord has saved me as the broken, beat up, and guilty sinner that I am.  I strive everyday to follow His will, but I fail him everyday.  In some small way or another I sin every single day.  Now my husband, who is a fellow Christian, never comes home and draws attention to my sins for the day, nor does he get in my face and tell me that I need to change my ways or I am going to hell.  He loves me.  When I do great things, and when I mess up.  When I take care of all my responsibilities around the house and when I sit on the couch all day and eat junk food -- he loves me.  And on the days when I sit and eat junk food, I am usually more compelled by his unconditional love to get up and do something the next day than I would be if he came home and told me how lazy I was.  In that same way, we should love the others around us even when they mess up! No matter how big or bad it may be. When someone hurts us - we are called to love them.  When non-believers confront us, or slander us, or make fun of us - we are called to love them.  In no situation or circumstance is love ever the wrong answer.  However, anger and judgment and gossip are always the wrong answer. Ultimately, all of our sins are counted the same - none is bigger than the other - and how much more of an influence can we be on everyone around us if we concerned ourselves more with loving each other than with judging each other.


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For those of you wondering, the title to this article is dedicated to some of my friends who contributed their rousing non-Christian opinions on my Facebook post about this article and also added a little humor.  Thanks Blake and Aaron, your honesty is always welcome and I'd like to think that we've always managed to get along despite our differences because of our mutual respect and maybe a little bit of love mixed in too!