JUDGING OTHERS
I personally believe that the judging of others - specifically the judging of other Christians is one of the biggest hindrances to the witness of the Christian faith in American culture today.
That's a big, bold statement. I believe it though. I believe that more people would go to church and pursue a relationship with the Lord if they weren't too afraid or skeptical of what "other Christians" would think about their lifestyle. I think that more unbelievers would potentially go to church just to see what it is all about if Christians didn't have such a bad reputation for judging others.
I believe, very passionately, in the grace of Jesus Christ. Meaning, that I believe that Jesus came to save us, not to condemn us. As I have been thinking and praying about this post, the Lord has shown me some really great verses that directly apply to my topic. The first one, I posted on my Facebook a few days ago. In John 14:18, Jesus is quoted saying, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." I will come to you. Just let that sink in for a minute. Jesus didn't say, fix everything, make yourself perfect, and then come find me. He didn't say, here's a list of things you have to do everyday plus some bonus stuff for Sunday and then come find me, I'll be over here somewhere. Jesus says to us - sit still, right where you are and I will come to you. We don't even have to meet him halfway!! We just have to take one single solitary step and that is to say Jesus I need you. Now, if Jesus is willing to meet us where we are, then why should other Christians expect us to be something different? Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus and in the same way that a relationship grows and changes in our human to human relationships so does our relationship with Jesus.
So here's another bold statement for the day -- I'm feeling a little feisty if you can't tell. The status of our relationship with Jesus is between us and Him. That's it. It is completely a product of the condition of our heart. If you personally believe that you are being honest with yourself and with the Lord and you are walking with him the very best you can in that moment of your life - NO ONE ELSE can tell you that you are wrong. Whoo, I'm going to fire some people up I can tell!!
Right about now a lot of people are going to want to jump up and down and start talking about accountability among Christians. Which I agree with and believe in. But for a moment - I would like to not jump in to accountability and continue down this path.
According to the Bible in 1 Corinthians 4:5 Paul writes to the church in Corinth and says, "Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God." Which is a perfect verse for what I am talking about -- only the Lord has the capability and the authority to "disclose the purposes of our heart." We are not to judge the other Christians around us because God is going to do it. Our time on earth is so short compared to eternity and we are called to love and reach others for Christ - not to judge.
So now to bring it down to a personal level...
I put my faith in Jesus as a little, small girl. I was 4 years old. My church had a Wednesday night program called AWANAs and I was a "Cubby". I clearly remember putting my faith in Jesus. I remember being in the driveway in the truck with my Dad. I remember that I was the only kid (in my family) who had gone to church that night due to illness or something related and my mom had stayed home with my brothers. I remember telling my dad that I wanted to invite Jesus into my heart. I was 4, that was 21 years ago, and I still remember it like yesterday. I remember knowing at 4 years old that my life would somehow be different because of the decision that I made.
As I got older and started to make more of my own decisions - into high school and beyond - I didn't always do what I should as a Christian. I didn't always make the right choices. I rarely sought godly counsel about the choices I was making. I more often hid the things I was doing from every one around me - especially my parents. At a fairly young age, I started making decisions that lead me to having pre-marital sex. This started in high school, continued through college, and up to the point that I married my husband Matt. So let's say about 8 years. There were many times that I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew that it didn't please God, but I didn't know how to stop. There were also times that I didn't care what God thought about what I did or didn't do. Pre-marital sex had become a lifestyle for me. A way of life - specifically the only way I knew how to be in a relationship. Pre-16 year old relationships were the only ones I had ever had that were sex free. So let's pause for a moment -- what I was doing was wrong, really wrong. Fornication is listed as a sin in the Bible. Sexual sins are especially bad sins to the Lord because he created sex to be something more than a physical experience. He created it for me to share with my future husband, not with any guy that I chose. I was ruining that for myself and for the men that I allowed and many times pursued to have sex with me. At any point during that part of my life I would have told you that I knew what I was doing was wrong in the eyes of the Lord and there was a small - sometimes even a big part of me - that wanted to quit. I even tried to quit. However, at no point during that part of my life did I EVER doubt my salvation. I never doubted God loved me in spite of the bad things that I was doing and he still spoke to me. We still had a relationship, but we didn't have the kind of relationship that we COULD have because my sin got in the way of our closeness. However, I was doing the best that I could at that time in my life.
Now, did my accountability as a Christian ever go away? No and I will have to stand before the Lord some day look into his face and be accountable for those decisions and actions. Were my choices wrong? Yes. Last, is it okay to run around as a Christian and do whatever you feel like doing because you believe in "grace" and that you're going to be forgiven for it all? No, not at all. At the same time, would someone pointing their finger at me and telling me that I was a "bad" Christian or that I needed to get right with the Lord have helped me at that time? Probably not, I was in a pretty dark place. Even further, the Lord never abandoned me, he never left me, and I never did enough bad things to no longer be a Christian anymore - and I did some pretty bad things.
So it really all boils down to love...
As Christians we are called to LOVE - both other Christians and non-Christians. Matthew 22:37-39 is quoted a lot in the church, but I really don't feel like we as Christians GET it. I think that if we did, our world would be a much different place. The verse says, "And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great
and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your
neighbor as yourself.'"
The answer to everything is love. How boring, huh? It's the simplest of answers with the hardest follow through. If someone is doing wrong as a fellow Christian we are called to love them and in that love to show them that they are called to a higher purpose. If they fail to change their heart, their attitude, or their actions what should we then do? We should love them. Ultimately - and I'm pretty passionate about this too - the only person who can be convicted about my sins and compelled to change is me. My husband can't be convicted about my sins for me and I can't be convicted about his. We've had several discussions about this and it leads into a longer discussion related to marriage, but I will try to keep it as brief and to the point as possible. I am not perfect because the Lord has saved me as the broken, beat up, and guilty sinner that I am. I strive everyday to follow His will, but I fail him everyday. In some small way or another I sin every single day. Now my husband, who is a fellow Christian, never comes home and draws attention to my sins for the day, nor does he get in my face and tell me that I need to change my ways or I am going to hell. He loves me. When I do great things, and when I mess up. When I take care of all my responsibilities around the house and when I sit on the couch all day and eat junk food -- he loves me. And on the days when I sit and eat junk food, I am usually more compelled by his unconditional love to get up and do something the next day than I would be if he came home and told me how lazy I was. In that same way, we should love the others around us even when they mess up! No matter how big or bad it may be. When someone hurts us - we are called to love them. When non-believers confront us, or slander us, or make fun of us - we are called to love them. In no situation or circumstance is love ever the wrong answer. However, anger and judgment and gossip are always the wrong answer. Ultimately, all of our sins are counted the same - none is bigger than the other - and how much more of an influence can we be on everyone around us if we concerned ourselves more with loving each other than with judging each other.
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For those of you wondering, the title to this article is dedicated to some of my friends who contributed their rousing non-Christian opinions on my Facebook post about this article and also added a little humor. Thanks Blake and Aaron, your honesty is always welcome and I'd like to think that we've always managed to get along despite our differences because of our mutual respect and maybe a little bit of love mixed in too!
