Turner's Birth Story

I've had 3 births and never written a birth story. Maybe I will go back and write about my other births someday. Turner Matthew Judah Eytcheson came into the world on December 4, 2018 at 11:13 p.m. He weighed 10lbs 11oz and was 22.25 inches long surprising everyone from the delivery room to our extended family and setting my OB's personal record as the biggest baby he's delivered. Since my previous two births were cesareans my intentions for this birth were to have a successful, preferably unmedicated, VBAC (that's "vaginal birth after cesarean" for those that aren't familiar). My doctor agreed for me to TOLAC (trail of labor after cesarean) except he was not willing to use any type of induction methods to start or encourage labor. At my 37 week appointment and the baby measured big via sonogram. His head circumference was very big and his weight was estimated at 8lbs 4oz. I originally reacted with fear and a little despair upon hearing that the baby was so big I then began to pray - alot - after that appointment. At my 39 week appointment, I was found to be dilated 2 cm which was fantastic news! I was officially due on Sunday 12/2. Thursday prior to being due, I had a day date with my bonus mom for foot massages and lunch and I began having contractions (far apart) while I sat and watched our oldest play soccer that evening. Saturday my MIL arrived from out of town in anticipation for baby to arrive in the near future. Sunday - due date! - I started having consistent contractions from the time I walked into church (around 9am) and throughout the day. After a full day and night of contractions every 7-10 mins that were increasing in intensity, I asked to be taken to the hospital to be checked knowing they would likely send me home. They kept me/monitored me for 2 hours (usually they only keep you 1 hour), and then they sent me home. I don't remember a lot that happened after that. I know I tried to sleep and got a couple naps in that day to try to make up for not sleeping the night before. This labor was already reminding me of my labor with Kailyn, so I knew I needed the sleep and that my baby was coming - no matter how slowly - and I needed rest. I had other labor signs like passing my mucus plug and having bloody show after contractions. I remember praying a lot, listening to a lot of worship music, spending a lot of time bouncing on my ball. Night fell again and I tried so hard to sleep. I got about an hour of sleep and then my contractions woke me up. I was timing them and trying to sleep in between. The sleep between part was not really happening. My husband was snoring, loudly, next to me. I remember being resentful and irritated. Around midnight I cried - not from pain - from emotions. I remember thinking, "I want off this ride." I was even up for more intensity, and even pain if it meant that things would change. I wanted and needed progress. 1:08 AM my water broke - it felt exactly like I had read/heard it described. I felt pressure and then a POP! that at first kind of felt like a baby kick, but different. I said, "What was that?" out loud and then a big *gush* confirmed that my water broke. Yes! The ride finally changed. I woke up Matt and we grabbed our stuff. We got to the hospital around 2am - both very thankful that my MIL was already in town and sleeping in our home so we briefly woke her, let her know what was going on, and headed out the door without waking the rest of the kids. We had almost the exact opposite experience in triage than we had just had the night before - which was a huge relief. When I told the charge nurse who check us in my plans to VBAC this baby she set the tone for my experience and said she was rooting for me and believed I could do this. We stayed in triage a bit longer than usual due to the L&D ward being very busy that night - the bed in triage was not comfortable, but there was a peace that had not been there before. We were moved to a L&D room around 5am. My OB, Dr. Jason Brown, came on shift at 7am and said hello - actually, he walked into my room before 7am with his backpack on because as soon as he had walked in and saw my name on the board he came straight to see me. I really cannot say enough good things about him as a doctor and a person. There are a lot of details between that point when Turner was born 18+ hours later. The overarching and most important part of the whole experience was the peace that I felt and the peace that was present in my room that day and night. Since there weren't many medical options open to me as far as the use of pitocin, etc. I was really left to my own devices. We played music. Matt and I danced. We talked a lot, spent time together that we hadn't in a long time. Fully soaked in all the excitement of our baby, our last baby, coming into the world. My grandparents and bonus mom visited for a bit while I sat on a birthing ball and chatted through contractions. My body seemed to be doing it's job at first. I was 3 cm dilated when I checked in and around noon I was 6cm dilated. Slow progress, but things were moving. Then we stalled - each check my cervix remained the same. After a couple checks and nothing I started to get serious. No more visitors. I put my phone on airplane mode, no more calls, no more texts. Time to focus. I changed up the music. I started moving a lot. I paced the halls. I did lots of squats. I did step ups on the couch in my room (shhh!). I used a hand operated breast pump for nipple stimulation. I pumped enough colostrom before my baby was ever born to impress everyone in the nursery/NICU department. More ball bouncing. My legs were starting to cramp. Nothing was happening and decision time was coming. My doctor came to visit around 6p. I was checked - no progress. We had a heart to heart about how I saw this proceeding and what my options were as time went on. Together we decided that if I had no cervical change and no signs of progress by 9pm we would start to prepare for a cesarean. After the doctor left, I crawled into the bed, asked Matt to come crawl in with me and I cried and I let it sink in that I might not get my desire for a VBAC and I confessed that it's really hard to want something so badly and have very little control, ultimately, of getting it. Shift change for the nurses came. While I was really sad to see my nurse from that day leave, I personally knew the next nurse coming on shift and she brought an element of excitement right when I needed it. Holly came in and told me how proud she was of my effort that day. She was fully updated on every thing I had done to try to get my labor to progress throughout the day and she assured me I had done everything possible and I hadn't given up. She said no matter what happened I could be sure that I gave it my all. Then she took charge and everything moved fairly fast. She asked if I would be willing to try an epidural as a means to possibly dilate me more. After 6+ hours or no progress, I was up for just about anything. The epidural failed and in the end, we proceeded to the OR a little after 10pm. I was given a spinal in the OR along with several warm blankets to help me stop shaking. Matt was back at my side fairly quickly. My doctor came in and turned on his music for surgery. I had made no requests, yet praise and worship, all of my favorites that I have been singing and praying over my pregnancy and especially during my labor filled the room. The peace I had through the day filtered in, and in a matter of minutes my baby boy was born. As I was skillfully put back together, I sang worship to my King. You see, over the weeks before Turner was born, the Lord changed my prayers and he changed my heart. My prayers at 37 weeks started by praying for what I wanted and very quickly changed to praying for the Lord's will. In the final days, I released everything I wanted to the Lord. I prayed for his will. I prayed for his glory. I submitted that even if I didn't get what I "wanted" he would still get all the glory, all the praise. Because he is faithful, he fulfills our desires, he is protector, he is healer, and he walked with me through those hours and days of labor and surgery and everything afterwards. Among the birth community I see the message that after a trauma or disappointing birth there is a need for a healing birth and it is often, if not always, equated with some magical, natural birth experience. It is often communicated as fighting for what you want, trusting in your body to do its job, and making your birth experience happen. I heard the message somewhere, that to heal from the trauma of my previous birth, and the disappointment of a repeat cesarean with twins I needed this healing experience, and they were right - kind of. There was just one important piece missing. What I needed and what I had was The Healer, my Lord and Savior, Papa God, to walk with me through this birth - and he did. What I experienced was peace and joy and faithfulness. What I experienced was healing at a soul level that I get to carry with me forever.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9